Category Archives: support

Letting Go for the NEW New Year

Did you know that the Romans celebrated their New Year on March 1?

Mars, the God of War, oversaw the start of their calendar. Makes sense, because ROMANS.

terminalis statue wikipedia

As part of their ritual, they celebrated Terminalis, the God of Borders, Transitions, and Neighbors

I came across these facts randomly several years ago, and had the bright idea to use a random holiday as an excuse for a party.

It was great in DC, so I repeated it in Portland, as a way to meet my neighbors in the rather cold, anonymous apartment complex where I live. It worked out okay a couple years ago, but was less pagan-ritual and more corporate-ice-breaker vibe…

cheesy corporate icebreaker trust fall

So this year, in line with my intention to be more open to the mysteries, I deliberately invoked the pagan side of the holiday in my invitation.

I invited people I thought would be into rational discussion of neighbors. Borders. What being a good neighbor meant. What having a border meant.

My definition of neighbor expanded to include those within a few miles, since the people I’d met two years ago had moved on. We talked about the definition of neighbor.

IMG_7130

I got 4 No’s and 2 Yes’s and 5 Lack of Responses. Portland.

My two Yes’s showed up and we had baked goods, wine, tea, and enlivening, enheartening conversation. It was brilliant. More evidence that quality over quantity is what counts.

It also affirmed my intention to Let Go of the effects of my generosity this year. For 2017, one of my intentions is to offer what I can, without the expectation of returns. This means not holding onto disappointment when no one comes on an outing, not seething with resentment when someone says they’ll come then blithely doesn’t show, not refusing to offer my generosity because I don’t get the feeling I desire.

It’s hard, but I’m learning. And my two Yes’s helped that little monster in my brain relearn the importance of a few deep connections, rather than the buzz of a crowd or the validation of popularity.

What borders around you need tending? What neighbors could you invite to your (metaphorical) hearth?

 

Images via Wikipedia, Expert Beacon, and property of Margaret Pinard

Balance Positive

 

The Good and the Bad

Finding someone to rhapsodize about pottery with may not have been enough of a silver lining to balance out the car repair setback, but listen to the events that followed:

  • A long day of driving to Oklahoma
  • A speeding ticket in Arkansas
  • No wifi at the place I was staying
  • My credit card left at the pizza place where I had dinner

Those were my 2 days after the oil pan incident, summed up.

Yet none of these annoying/exhausting/expensive events broke the bank of positivity that I had stored up from my farewells from DC, or the general happiness with my present situation.

I know, hard to believe, right?? But these things also happened in those 2 days:

  • Meeting an awesome pizza entrepreneur
  • A beautiful sunrise over Edmond, OK
  • Not having to stop in Texas
  • Stopping to see a colleague at his beautiful home in Santa Fe
  • Arriving in the high desert town of Taos with no bad weather

All in all, I conclude that the good is outweighing the bad. The setbacks are not enough to tear down the joys from the small, beautiful things.

How is that possible?

Part of it involves that stored-up positivity, as when you receive the well wishes of friends to warm you in colder days. This bolsters your confidence in your own decisions.

Part of it involves awareness of many things at once, so that the speeding ticket doesn’t dominate my whole impression of Arkansas (well, maybe). You can appreciate the good weather while admitting that the ticket stinks.

And part of it involves perspective— which I’m frankly surprised I’m able to have so soon after these bad-luck events. Long stretches of driving, as I found out on the trip to Nova Scotia, enable you to reflect, process, and uncover your inner workings in some unique ways.

Since I don’t like driving, I’ll have to replace this with a different activity once I become local again. What’s your best suggestion? What gets you into that open-minded space?

Despertador image of open space

 

Images via Examiner.com and Despertador